ENFP curious about ENFP/INTJ match up

 I (24F) am an ENFP-A and most of my relationships - including friendships - have been with other ENFP types (as far as I know). I keep hearing that ENFP is best suited to INTJ and INFJ, but I can't wrap my head around why. I'm becoming increasingly curious about the ENFP/INTJ or ENFP/INFJ match up, so it would be great if anyone could share their ENFP/INTJ success story. What works about your relationship, why are you drawn to ENFPs, how do you even meet?! I feel like I'm such a social butterfly and I mostly only ever meet other extroverts - I wouldn't even know where to start find my "ideal match", so it's hard to understand the logic behind why they're ideal. - anonymousfiza


I met my SO at a coffee shop. I would describe her as a developed (has worked on or acknowledged her weaknesses) and mentally healthy ENFP. Part of why I feel we work is because of our differences, not despite them.

I used to think I wanted someone who was the same, with the same opinions and beliefs, always agreeing on everything, but it's so much more fun and captivating to be with someone who brings new perspectives, thought-processes, and understandings to the relationship.

Disagreement is good, that's how her and I both learn and grow from each other, because we never dismiss what the other person is saying. I used to at first, because her innocence in thought first appeared as ditzy and unorganized, though I'm sure I came off as insensitive/cold or w/e INTJ stereotype.

I admire how much of a people-person she is and how easy it is to talk to her, especially on a deeper level - she is surprisingly adept discussing theory and the abstract. I admire her spontaneity and ability to encourage new things and always see and justify the positive in a world I perceive to have a lot of bad.



It was rocky at first, sincere communication was KEY as was genuine effort and compromise from both sides. Give & take. She and I are not perfect, and we acknowledge this. It's not always a Disney-like relationship that media or apps sell to us, but we have a lot of fun together and appreciate the balance we bring to each other.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Diva Moment

 I like to have a tidy and orderly house and we let it go a little due to ongoing construction. Yesterday, my husband was out of town and I spent the evening cleaning. At the end of the day, I walked around the house looking at my work, acting like a sassy voguing queer than I am, congratulating myself for work well done, approving of how the blankets are folded and pillows arranged. All while striking poses. When I caught myself during the act, I chuckled and decided to pull the footage from our security cameras to send to my husband as an example of how ridiculously I act when alone. I reviewed the footage and in the video I literally do NOTHING of sorts! No poses! No gestures! I just walk back and forth and glance at things. Maybe there’s some expression change on my face but absolutely nothing of my body movement would suggest any sort of emotion not to mention striking poses! My husband is an INFP and struggles with separating his feelings from feelings of others. With me, however
Read more

Should I stop judging and evaluating everyone I meet?

  If yes, how? For example, from the minute I meet someone, I start thinking whether they may be friendable or dateable in the future? I'm constantly evaluating their characteristics and bucketing them into which ones may be deal breakers for me. Is this necessarily a bad thing? - joe9nov I think it makes us a little close-minded to try to put people into specific boxes, it's a little egotistical to do so before we really get to know someone well. The constant judging and assumptions limit our ability to view and perceive people, ideas, and things as they are instead of where they come from. It's natural we do this a little, as long as we're mindful that we aren't racing to too many potentially false conclusions. I think most people start judging others within the first moments of meeting them, seems normal. Again, it's just about how quickly and reasonable the conclusions we're jumping to are. Ask yourself how long someone needs to know you until you've
Read more

Dating for INTJs

Dating can be a struggle for INTJs I think. We aren’t particularly social and don’t like chatting very much. We don’t like loud bars and clubs, there’s too much going on. What are some dating strategies that have worked for you? Apps? Meeting people at classes or work? Smoldering in the corner of the bar like James Bond?  -  TheAdmirablePepys The strategy is to become more socially adept. You can only do this by interacting with people, get some extrovert friends who will help you navigate, expand your network, and pull you in to social activities - join events, volunteer groups, etc. Smoldering in the corner only works if you're James Bond or a woman. Unfortunately, you only gain experience by DOING things, thinking about them will only get you so far. Desensitize yourself to rejection, then ask women out, don't wait more than a month, the sooner the better. IMHO OLD is mostly shit and the type of people you will find on there aren't candidates for LT relationships (in gen
Read more