INTJ Males - Do you 'LIKE' to be in control over your partner?

 "Honest, honesty and honesty.

Please, when you answer, try to be honest based on your own internal feelings, not what you have been taught by society or what you think you should say because it just 'feels right in front of others. Just to let you know, wanting to be in control, doesn't make you a horrible person, it's how you behave when you are in control is what make you horrible or not. There's always a leader in every relationship, house, whether consciously or subconsciously.

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I personally, had relationships with INFP, ENFP, ISFJ, and ENFJ. They all wanted to be led. They ASKED for it, they love it, whether sexually or in life, it gives them a sense of security, in fact, it's a turn-off for them if they had to feel like a man in the relationship and those types specifically, they end up breaking up after a year or two if they don't get this particular dominance. With that said, they might stay for other personal reasons, but this will always be a void/need in their life, but only with their partner, no one else. This is my own personal experience - relate yours." - Flkhuo

I don't prefer control as a term to be used to describe a relationship, because I don't think romantic relationships are about control - but I'll bite. I'd say it depends. I like to be in control in the things I excel at, where my fiance would like to be in control in the things she's good at.

I know that Western society likes to push the idea that everyone can or should be 100% equal in every thing no matter what, but I'll put out my opinion in that, that's f*king stupid.

My fiance and I both acknowledge men and women are good at different things. Even taking gender out of the equation, we as different people, excel at different things. We appreciate the differences in each other, we don't try to hamfist equality into every aspect or scenario in the relationship or decision-making process.

Labor-oriented/problem-solving tasks? I'll do it and she'll respect my decisions and support where she can, especially when I feel strongly about something. Choosing the furniture? Choosing a wedding photographer or venue? Well I'm not exactly the greatest with aesthetics or have strong in opinions in it, she should primarily choose.

Choosing baby names? 50%

We've agreed I'll continue to work 40+ hours/week, while she'll work part-time when we have kids so that she'll have more time with them and will also do more around the house (as she'll have more time). When we have kids, she wants to send them to a private preschool, I didn't want to; but agreed because she felt strongly about it and I will trust her maternal instincts over my paternal ones.

This is the sort of compromise and give and take that I believe is necessary to maintain a long-lasting mutual relationship where both sides can be happy, over "everything is 50/50 and equal in tasks and decisions, I can do everything as good as you, no one is better than any one thing than the other".

I'm sorry, but when I hear "independent woman", I interpret that as "I want to be a man and I want to compete with you", what exactly are you trying to prove? Because at least for me, I never defaulted women to the state of being dependent on men in the first place. I've held, and continue to hold the de facto opinion that all women are capable of being independent without having to say it. I never understood why there was a need for women had to have to declare themselves as independent. It makes it sound like the women who don't say this are dependent, which I do not believe to be true.

I have great respect for any life-path a woman chooses whether it be to focus on family or career. I do NOT think any less of either, regardless of what choice they should make, but I believe it is disrespectful to call or imply any woman who may choose family over career a "dependent woman".