Random Questions and an INTJ's Reflections

 I like to have a tidy and orderly house and we let it go a little due to ongoing construction. Yesterday, my husband was out of town and I spent the evening cleaning. At the end of the day, I walked around the house looking at my work, acting like a sassy voguing queer than I am, congratulating myself for work well done, approving of how the blankets are folded and pillows arranged. All while striking poses. When I caught myself during the act, I chuckled and decided to pull the footage from our security cameras to send to my husband as an example of how ridiculously I act when alone. I reviewed the footage and in the video I literally do NOTHING of sorts! No poses! No gestures! I just walk back and forth and glance at things. Maybe there’s some expression change on my face but absolutely nothing of my body movement would suggest any sort of emotion not to mention striking poses! My husband is an INFP and struggles with separating his feelings from feelings of others. With me, how...

  My boyfriend (21 INTJ) has become more affectionate ever since our deep talk last night. He was extremely surprised by my ability to read people, including himself (I'm an ENFJ). He said something like "damn you really know me, I think I made a really good decision dating you" (we've been dating for 2 months). I'm guessing he was really touched by the fact that someone can finally see through/understand him? So I'm wondering what are the moments that make INTJ decide "damn this girl is a catch"?  - hukunamatataa I would describe my fiance as a mature, healthy ENFP, take that for what you will. I saw a lot of traits in her that I wanted and admired, mainly how socially adept and fun-loving she was; people genuinely love her and she genuinely loves people. She has sincere interest in learning about others and wanting to help, on a level that I could never see myself having; but she definitely pulled me out of my comfort zone and helped me grow in tha...

 " Honest, honesty and honesty. Please, when you answer, try to be honest based on your own internal feelings, not what you have been taught by society or what you think you should say because it just 'feels right in front of others. Just to let you know, wanting to be in control, doesn't make you a horrible person, it's how you behave when you are in control is what make you horrible or not. There's always a leader in every relationship, house, whether consciously or subconsciously. ​ I personally, had relationships with INFP, ENFP, ISFJ, and ENFJ. They all wanted to be led. They ASKED for it, they love it, whether sexually or in life, it gives them a sense of security, in fact, it's a turn-off for them if they had to feel like a man in the relationship and those types specifically, they end up breaking up after a year or two if they don't get this particular dominance. With that said, they might stay for other personal reasons, but this will always be a v...

 I (24F) am an ENFP-A and most of my relationships - including friendships - have been with other ENFP types (as far as I know). I keep hearing that ENFP is best suited to INTJ and INFJ, but I can't wrap my head around why. I'm becoming increasingly curious about the ENFP/INTJ or ENFP/INFJ match up, so it would be great if anyone could share their ENFP/INTJ success story. What works about your relationship, why are you drawn to ENFPs, how do you even meet?! I feel like I'm such a social butterfly and I mostly only ever meet other extroverts - I wouldn't even know where to start find my "ideal match", so it's hard to understand the logic behind why they're ideal. - anonymousfiza I met my SO at a coffee shop. I would describe her as a developed (has worked on or acknowledged her weaknesses) and mentally healthy ENFP. Part of why I feel we work is because of our differences, not despite them. I used to think I wanted someone who was the same, with the sa...

 I sway slightly towards pessimism, but I've been making efforts and have swayed more towards optimism; it's been a great experience to learn from my SO who is predominantly an optimist. I think balance is optimal. Too pessimistic and you become a cynical, tunnel-visioned, asshole that no one likes to be around because you can never see good in anything - but always pointing out what's WRONG. Too optimistic and you can become an impractical dreamer and start to ignore reality, causing potential missteps or wasted time. It's easy for the INTJ to focus on the bad/reality of things, every pessimist I've met will call themselves a realist to rebrand or deny that reality. It's our comfort zone to be critical of everything, but sometimes it's just not applicable or wanted/needed and we need to learn to search for the good even if it's not immediately apparent to us. For me personally, I like to be around fun-loving people who don't take things too seriousl...

 Just had my 3rd quarter review. It’s all positive. I’m good at my job and I’ve learned the people skills to pass with flying colors. I am very new to the agency though and my boss kept saying things like ‘well you’ll learn this, you’ll learn that’ on things that I’ve been doing for six months and several times phrased my work as being creditable to him (In fact he was actually given compliments on his work on this project we were doing, and every aspect that was complimented were things I had done, so it’s not just in his head, he’s telling his bosses and taking credit but that’s a different story.) I don’t need praise for doing my job or even doing it well, I don’t even want praise because it’s meaningless from someone I don’t respect, but I also don’t need you to think I still have to learn something I’ve been doing. It implies that he won’t be moving on to training in new things because he thinks I have to go over the basic stuff still. And what sucks is that he does actually h...

 I think it appropriate to explain the scope of our relationship and situation first, before presenting the question. My wife and I are very close. Though we are almost completely opposite of each other on every level, we found in each other a depth of relationship that far exceeds that of any other relationship I've been in or seen in others. When it's just us 2 it seems the world is close to harmony. By now I can surely tell that, aside from our relationship, she would be happiest alone. That's where she finds her contentment when away from being us. I on the other hand, have a stronger want and sometimes need for social interaction both including and excluding her. When we have an argument I have a tendency to withdraw my emotions or become irritated and sometimes angry. This results often in a delayed emotional response that takes a few hours at least to uncover itself or it turns into resentment if I don't deal with it properly. Mostly depending on her response and...