Random Questions and an INTJ's Reflections

  My boyfriend (21 INTJ) has become more affectionate ever since our deep talk last night. He was extremely surprised by my ability to read people, including himself (I'm an ENFJ). He said something like "damn you really know me, I think I made a really good decision dating you" (we've been dating for 2 months). I'm guessing he was really touched by the fact that someone can finally see through/understand him? So I'm wondering what are the moments that make INTJ decide "damn this girl is a catch"?  - hukunamatataa I would describe my fiance as a mature, healthy ENFP, take that for what you will. I saw a lot of traits in her that I wanted and admired, mainly how socially adept and fun-loving she was; people genuinely love her and she genuinely loves people. She has sincere interest in learning about others and wanting to help, on a level that I could never see myself having; but she definitely pulled me out of my comfort zone and helped me grow in tha...

Dating can be a struggle for INTJs I think. We aren’t particularly social and don’t like chatting very much. We don’t like loud bars and clubs, there’s too much going on. What are some dating strategies that have worked for you? Apps? Meeting people at classes or work? Smoldering in the corner of the bar like James Bond?  -  TheAdmirablePepys The strategy is to become more socially adept. You can only do this by interacting with people, get some extrovert friends who will help you navigate, expand your network, and pull you in to social activities - join events, volunteer groups, etc. Smoldering in the corner only works if you're James Bond or a woman. Unfortunately, you only gain experience by DOING things, thinking about them will only get you so far. Desensitize yourself to rejection, then ask women out, don't wait more than a month, the sooner the better. IMHO OLD is mostly shit and the type of people you will find on there aren't candidates for LT relationships (in g...

 26M Now I hate to categorize myself and my behavior based on a single test, but goddamn does reading all of the forums online on how INTJs fail so hard at dating make me want to just blame my personality for being so shite at dating even though I know it's unrealistic to do so. I've never had a girlfriend or any sexual experiences, and I would frankly say that I have put myself out there countless times. I haven't really put much thought into why I have a poor dating life until I recently got a good job and really have honed in on figuring out why I'm apparently emotionally idiotic. I asked a couple of my friends around, and they gave me a solid 6/10 all around. They claim my downfall is having too high of expectations and I can agree with that. But some of the women I've went on first dates on weren't exactly 10/10s but to me were amazing people to be around. The fact that I'm even landing dates means I'm doing something right, right?? Some of these fi...

 How does dating for an INTJ usually go? I've noticed that I like to start out just spending time as friends to gauge compatibility, but on the other hand, I like to know very early on what a relationship looks like to them, how they like to be treated / how they'd treat me, and whether they're as Type A as I am so that I'm not wasting time on something that won't work out anyways. How have y'all found a balance between those two extremes and learned to be okay with just going with the flow while casually dating? (If it provides any context, I'm gay so I definitely feel some extra pressure to figure things out.) - user9224 I asked my SO out the first day I met her and gauged compatibility as we were dating, that's what dating it. Some of my INTJ friends are far too passive with women, always making excuses. It's the primal attraction and forces that INTJs sometimes have to learn to embrace and be spontaneous, rather than sit back and form a plan even...