INTJ Thoughts

 A few weeks ago I had a performance review for my corporate job. My boss said the main thing I should “work on” is… my quietness. “You’re SO quiet! Try to join in more on office conversations!” Ever since then, she brings it up regularly. Every 1:1 meeting or chat. There’s always a little reminder that I’m too quiet. I just want to do my job, get paid, and save my social battery for my life outside work, with my friends and my partner. I have work friends that I’ll grab coffee or eat lunch with. I’ll give my 2cents in meetings. But during working hours, I just want to lock in with some music, audiobooks, or podcasts. I don’t want to stand over my cubicle and give my hot take on the World Series. It bothers me that being quiet is framed as a weakness instead of a personality trait. I do my work well. Isn’t that enough? Anyone else get tired of being told to “speak up” just for the sake of making noise? -  claydaybyday I think they are inferring weak communication skills. This ...

I (INFJ) have a long-standing crush on an INTJ I met through alumni/scholarship events. Timeline in short: *Followed each other on social media, he occasionally liked my posts, rarely viewed my stories. *First event (Feb): we barely interacted but he hugged me as a greeting — felt significant. Didn't even get to introduce ourselves properly, I just knew of him through mutual friends. That night, he added me on LinkedIn (within an hour after the event). *Second event (Nov): same space, tried to make eye contact and smile, but he didn’t acknowledge me. Minimal interaction. I got busy because it was a networking event, but I really wanted to converse with him to see if we could connect. *Social media: mostly active on LinkedIn, reactivated IG recently but no meaningful engagement. I know INTJs are deliberate and cautious, but I’m confused — is he interested or am I reading too much into subtle cues? - tiredgeneral From a pragmatic standpoint, I'd say you're underthinking by d...

  I'm an INTJ who has lived in a variety of places and done a wide variety of things. I have heard that I'm easy to talk to. As for other people, I find 90%+ of them incredibly boring. A few things that I've noticed: Many people are comfortable staying at the surface level FOREVER. I have some coworkers who I have known for years who can still spend an entire lunch talking about what they're eating and the weather. Most people simply don't have anything interesting to talk about, or are afraid to share it. People aren't comfortable sharing their true opinions on things (especially if they're controversial). This is especially true for Gen Z/ Gen A, who are more concerned about their image. Those who  do  have opinions on things often recycled their opinions from someone else. Parroted political opinions, etc. It's extremely rare that I meet someone who has a unique point of view on something. Maybe once or twice a year. People often reflexively shy away ...

  I ask myself this question a lot as i always seem to be the person left out. Whether it be “friends” or people I work with, i’m never included in anything and i have a hard time seeing any value in myself. i’m forgotten by my own family too. sSmetimes i think my inability to speak up or bring attention to myself is a reason, but that’s just because no one has ever taken me seriously when i have before. it’s like my voice won’t even come through if i try. and i hate having everyone’s eyes on me, it’s like i turn into this awkward tomato mess. Just feeling lonely rn.  - Aromatic-Hippo9624 It might not be that you're unlikable so much as voluntarily invisible. Heavy introverts seem to always find themselves in these sorts of severely rationalized false dichotomies. I've been there, had friends who have been, and have friends who are there now. It's not about being "attention-seeking" or wearing a mask (whatever introverted trope you want), it's about having the...

  I’ve never struggled to make friends before. Friendship came to me naturally, and they always last. I still have friends from high school and middle school, and we are still good friends and we see each other often. However, now that I’m finishing university, I just realized how hard it is for me to make friends. The friends I made in university don’t last. Which is the first time, and it sucks. I had this friend and I thought we were besties. We agreed with each other on everything. We even went on a girl trip abroad. I thought we had something solid. Then suddenly she’s distant and not reaching out, not making plans and cancels every plan I tried to make with her. That’s been going on for a year and now I’m done. I don’t know what went wrong, I don’t know why she’s suddenly like that, but I’m done trying. Which makes me realize that I won’t ever be able to make friends. I heard friendship is even harder when you’re an adult. Now I’m down to 2 friends from my childhood, so if we...

  Disclaimer: in the following post, I appear to be arrogant. This is not to say that I am not slightly, but hopefully you will appreciate that I have no intention to exaggerate my observations. I'm smarter than normal. I've been labelled as "Gifted" from elementary school. When I was younger, I always didn't see myself as being abnormally intelligent. But now, I'm in university and to me, the gap is much more noticeable. I learn things quicker than others. I'm interested in more complex discussions. Simple questions and comments from my peers in lectures bore and annoy me. Of course, my academic performance is superior and exceptionally high. Throughout my life, I've always had trouble making friends. Yes, I'm slightly introverted, but I doubt that's the issue. I have no trouble striking up a conversation with a peer beside me. I have no trouble asking for their instagram or number. But I've never had a really close friend to spend time wi...