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Struggling whether I am an INTJ or not, for 5 years, please help me

  Hello! I have been learning about enneagram and MBTI for nearly 5 years. Even though I can semi-accurately other people and characters I have an issue typing myself. One week I am thinking that one type suits me, next week another. So please help me type myself, please ask me questions to understand me better! Well I essentialy have thoughts and struggles about life, like why we live, what is the meaning when death takes it all. Our ambitions, desires, loves; all of them will burst like small bubes in the sea of time. I also have pessimistic thinking regarding my future and world's future in general. Due to many unknown variables which are impossible to predict, I have an anxiety regarding future. This makes me not want to do anything, just lay in bed sometimes (yeah). In social interaction I can interact with literally all kinds of people %90 of the time. I can be kind and charismatic. Even though I hate them, I can pretend, so my job with them ends faster. I also have machiavel...
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My (31M) girlfriend (26F) is extremely passive and doesn’t really express emotions – I feel emotionally alone in the relationship. Do you have advice for me?

  I’m 31 years old, and my girlfriend is 26. We’ve been together for about a year. When we first met, she was very introverted and extremely passive. She still is. At the beginning I didn’t really see it as a problem, because I’m introverted myself, and I thought she just needed time to open up. She is also very attractive. When we met, she told me she had never had a boyfriend before and was still a virgin. I was surprised, but later I started to understand why. She is extremely shy, very closed off, and speaks very little. I still tried to give it time, and it took months before we became intimate. Back then I was patient and thought it would improve over time. Now, after about a year, I feel like I’m starting to see things more clearly, and I’m not sure what to do with this. The main issue is her passivity and lack of emotional expression toward me. In intimacy, I am almost always the one who initiates everything: hugging, kissing, physical touch, and sex. She basically just res...
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The colors in my sink inspired me

  My fellow INTJs, I had a thought while cleaning up today. My daughter had left a mess on her table after finishing a painting. As I washed the palette and thought about the next task to complete, I caught myself staring at the colors running over my hands beneath the water. What had once been a dry plastic board covered in cracked paint suddenly became streams of blues, purples, pinks, and greens swirling together in the sink. As small as the moment was, it oddly inspired me. It reminded me that things we see as dull, stagnant, or lifeless sometimes simply need attention, care, or movement to reveal what is still there beneath the surface. Even the mess itself had something to say. The colors splattered together into an ugly brownish green before eventually washing away, leaving behind a clean, albeit stained, palette ready for something new. Anyway, it was just a small moment I wanted to share. Not that I don’t also enjoy the usual “my INTJ did this,” “how do I handle this INTJ,...
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Dating for introverted men is far more difficult

Now, I'm not close-minded on this so my perspective can definitely be changed, but I hate being an introverted man when it comes to dating and relationships—it hurts. I suck at cold approaching women. I'm a pretty decent conversationalist but I just don't know how to get things started. And as a man you're expected to approach, which means facing rejection far more than women do. Also when it comes to reading signs and being assertive about escalating sexually—I think men are expected to do that in a smooth, not creepy way, which feels so difficult because I can never get a read on what women are thinking. I guess I'm just venting as a guy who gets no attention from women, but that's my piece. - Academic_Share7905 Cold approach is not the only way to meet women, I would guess the overwhelming amount of relationships don't start from that; most probably come from shared acquaintances/friends or spring up from convenience/proximity (work, school, apps...) I t...
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My employee review: “You’re SO quiet.”

 A few weeks ago I had a performance review for my corporate job. My boss said the main thing I should “work on” is… my quietness. “You’re SO quiet! Try to join in more on office conversations!” Ever since then, she brings it up regularly. Every 1:1 meeting or chat. There’s always a little reminder that I’m too quiet. I just want to do my job, get paid, and save my social battery for my life outside work, with my friends and my partner. I have work friends that I’ll grab coffee or eat lunch with. I’ll give my 2cents in meetings. But during working hours, I just want to lock in with some music, audiobooks, or podcasts. I don’t want to stand over my cubicle and give my hot take on the World Series. It bothers me that being quiet is framed as a weakness instead of a personality trait. I do my work well. Isn’t that enough? Anyone else get tired of being told to “speak up” just for the sake of making noise? -  claydaybyday I think they are inferring weak communication skills. This ...
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Does this INTJ crush show interest or am I overthinking?

I (INFJ) have a long-standing crush on an INTJ I met through alumni/scholarship events. Timeline in short: *Followed each other on social media, he occasionally liked my posts, rarely viewed my stories. *First event (Feb): we barely interacted but he hugged me as a greeting — felt significant. Didn't even get to introduce ourselves properly, I just knew of him through mutual friends. That night, he added me on LinkedIn (within an hour after the event). *Second event (Nov): same space, tried to make eye contact and smile, but he didn’t acknowledge me. Minimal interaction. I got busy because it was a networking event, but I really wanted to converse with him to see if we could connect. *Social media: mostly active on LinkedIn, reactivated IG recently but no meaningful engagement. I know INTJs are deliberate and cautious, but I’m confused — is he interested or am I reading too much into subtle cues? - tiredgeneral From a pragmatic standpoint, I'd say you're underthinking by d...
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Most people are boring as fuck to talk to (especially Gen Z/ Gen A)

  I'm an INTJ who has lived in a variety of places and done a wide variety of things. I have heard that I'm easy to talk to. As for other people, I find 90%+ of them incredibly boring. A few things that I've noticed: Many people are comfortable staying at the surface level FOREVER. I have some coworkers who I have known for years who can still spend an entire lunch talking about what they're eating and the weather. Most people simply don't have anything interesting to talk about, or are afraid to share it. People aren't comfortable sharing their true opinions on things (especially if they're controversial). This is especially true for Gen Z/ Gen A, who are more concerned about their image. Those who  do  have opinions on things often recycled their opinions from someone else. Parroted political opinions, etc. It's extremely rare that I meet someone who has a unique point of view on something. Maybe once or twice a year. People often reflexively shy away ...
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