My employee review: “You’re SO quiet.”

 A few weeks ago I had a performance review for my corporate job. My boss said the main thing I should “work on” is… my quietness. “You’re SO quiet! Try to join in more on office conversations!”

Ever since then, she brings it up regularly. Every 1:1 meeting or chat. There’s always a little reminder that I’m too quiet.

I just want to do my job, get paid, and save my social battery for my life outside work, with my friends and my partner. I have work friends that I’ll grab coffee or eat lunch with. I’ll give my 2cents in meetings. But during working hours, I just want to lock in with some music, audiobooks, or podcasts. I don’t want to stand over my cubicle and give my hot take on the World Series.

It bothers me that being quiet is framed as a weakness instead of a personality trait. I do my work well. Isn’t that enough?

Anyone else get tired of being told to “speak up” just for the sake of making noise? - claydaybyday

I think they are inferring weak communication skills.

This is the problem with some managers I find. Criticisms need to be more specific so that they can be actioned upon, not pointed at personality traits more so than behaviors and skillsets; so the first half of her sentence should have been omitted.

There is nothing wrong with quietness in itself, but her bringing a personality trait into the conversation allows one to rationalize otherwise valid criticisms away. It's very likely not a problem at all for her or the company that you don't stand over your cubicle and give your hot take on the World Series. It's the defense (strawman) you've levied against your manager's criticisms.