Do you find it difficult to make friends as a adult?

 I’ve never struggled to make friends before. Friendship came to me naturally, and they always last. I still have friends from high school and middle school, and we are still good friends and we see each other often.

However, now that I’m finishing university, I just realized how hard it is for me to make friends. The friends I made in university don’t last. Which is the first time, and it sucks.

I had this friend and I thought we were besties. We agreed with each other on everything. We even went on a girl trip abroad. I thought we had something solid. Then suddenly she’s distant and not reaching out, not making plans and cancels every plan I tried to make with her. That’s been going on for a year and now I’m done. I don’t know what went wrong, I don’t know why she’s suddenly like that, but I’m done trying.

Which makes me realize that I won’t ever be able to make friends. I heard friendship is even harder when you’re an adult. Now I’m down to 2 friends from my childhood, so if we fell apart it would be over for me. I’ll have no friend. And probably wont ever be able to make new one.

It’s so depressing. I don’t know why me and my uni friends fell apart. I’m too introverted to make friends, and too afraid of rejection to try. I also don’t want to waste my time, yet I really want to make friends.

What do you guys think? I’m curious about your experience in friendship. Is it true that it’s even harder to make friends as adult? -Hot-Student-6551

You can still make friends. As you've realized, it just gets harder, and thus takes a more concerted effort than previous, and different strategies. One thing I would say that is holding you back is your current sentiments like, "I won't ever be able to make friends", "I'm too introverted". These are mental blocks and self-fulfilling prophecies, not necessarily tied to any measurable reality.

As for fear of rejection, it's something we all struggle or have struggled with. It's part of life, part of growing up and maturing; unless you concede yourself to the alternative of never trying and giving up on things you desire - that is the only certain way to avoid all forms of rejection.

So a lot of it is going to come down to slowly reshaping your view on things and building your confidence. Welcome rejection, welcome failure, do not relegate yourself to a bunch of excuses and rationalizations as to why you can't do something. Callous yourself to the idea of failing through experience; it's unavoidable, but the preemptor to eventual success, part of the process - convict yourself to try even if there is a possibility of rejection, because you are only operating off assumptions; but more importantly, you will take solace from your inner creed of knowing that you will always get back up and keep trying. That is the only meaningful way I feel we can productively approach seemingly insurmountable or difficult tasks. The person that tries, will eventually and always be more successful than the person who never tried at all.