Trouble making friends

 Disclaimer: in the following post, I appear to be arrogant. This is not to say that I am not slightly, but hopefully you will appreciate that I have no intention to exaggerate my observations.

I'm smarter than normal. I've been labelled as "Gifted" from elementary school. When I was younger, I always didn't see myself as being abnormally intelligent. But now, I'm in university and to me, the gap is much more noticeable. I learn things quicker than others. I'm interested in more complex discussions. Simple questions and comments from my peers in lectures bore and annoy me. Of course, my academic performance is superior and exceptionally high.

Throughout my life, I've always had trouble making friends. Yes, I'm slightly introverted, but I doubt that's the issue. I have no trouble striking up a conversation with a peer beside me. I have no trouble asking for their instagram or number. But I've never had a really close friend to spend time with in my free time. Even now, in university, I spend most of my time alone, studying or examining topics that pique my interest. Studying with others doesn't seem appealing to me - group discussions slow down my productivity.

Wondering if there's any others that feel the same way? Any explanations? Don't sugarcoat it.

-Large-Driver-906

Introversion is certainly not the issue, ego is your problem. Relieve yourself of it by noting that you have no real accomplishments to point to; only theoretical far-off, and/or abstract accomplishments. You point to a high IQ score, but it's useless when held up to a part-time job at McD's - this actually brings in money and value. You aggrandize yourself in a romanticized way, talking about how deep and "real" you are, but it all amounts to rhetoric for cope - you're alone and find you are left to self-validate. Others can point to the handful of friends they have to hang out with or ask for help - their positive traits can be affirmed and confirmed by others, while you must guess and make conjectures about your own.

No one aside from you gives a shit about a label from a decade ago, your "academic performance", or that fact that you feel like you learn things quicker. No one cares that you're off in the corner sniffing your own farts babbling about efficiency and productivity. Introduce humility into your paradigm, realize that there is nothing discernably accomplished or great about you other than your own self-validation that would even merit such ego. If one were to look at a class of college kids, no one would notice you ruminating in the corner; but that kid with the charisma to gather a crowd and create a following, to articulate himself well and persuade others to join his cause - he'll be noticeable, because people instinctively know that this is the person that will go places, move boulders, potentially affect meaningful change, and ultimately succeed in life. He is the person showing, demonstrating his skill and aptitude, not the one only mumbling about it to the kind souls willing to humor him.

The uncomfortable reality may be that you don't have many friends because you are socially inept and you lack the social skills most people your age have developed by now. While others were busy developing these skills, you were so busy rationalizing and finding coping mechanisms to keep yourself in a place of comfort - to deal with the fact that you don't want to develop these skills because that would entail change and discomfort. It one of the most common false dichotomies that you've found yourself locked in - you feel and have erroneously reasoned that success or intellect is somehow invalidated or deterred by social aptitude and/or having a network. But these things can, and most often exist side-by-side in pragmatic reality.

It's not about being able to strike up one conversation or ask for a number or Instagram; it's about being a pleasant and polite enough person to be around that people want to, desire to, maintain a friendship with you. Approaching all friendships and relationships from the vantage point of, "it's ME choosing, EVERYONE ELSE is not good enough for me", is a much much easier pill to swallow than even entertaining the idea and possibility of rejection - because, again; that would entail change and effort.