INTJ Thoughts

 Just had my 3rd quarter review. It’s all positive. I’m good at my job and I’ve learned the people skills to pass with flying colors. I am very new to the agency though and my boss kept saying things like ‘well you’ll learn this, you’ll learn that’ on things that I’ve been doing for six months and several times phrased my work as being creditable to him (In fact he was actually given compliments on his work on this project we were doing, and every aspect that was complimented were things I had done, so it’s not just in his head, he’s telling his bosses and taking credit but that’s a different story.) I don’t need praise for doing my job or even doing it well, I don’t even want praise because it’s meaningless from someone I don’t respect, but I also don’t need you to think I still have to learn something I’ve been doing. It implies that he won’t be moving on to training in new things because he thinks I have to go over the basic stuff still. And what sucks is that he does actually h...

  If yes, how? For example, from the minute I meet someone, I start thinking whether they may be friendable or dateable in the future? I'm constantly evaluating their characteristics and bucketing them into which ones may be deal breakers for me. Is this necessarily a bad thing? - joe9nov I think it makes us a little close-minded to try to put people into specific boxes, it's a little egotistical to do so before we really get to know someone well. The constant judging and assumptions limit our ability to view and perceive people, ideas, and things as they are instead of where they come from. It's natural we do this a little, as long as we're mindful that we aren't racing to too many potentially false conclusions. I think most people start judging others within the first moments of meeting them, seems normal. Again, it's just about how quickly and reasonable the conclusions we're jumping to are. Ask yourself how long someone needs to know you until you've...

 When it comes to work and academics, I’m usually straightforward, abrupt, and direct. I don’t like to diddle-daddle and make friends “on the job.” I just want to get my work done and not be bothered. And, quite frankly, I don’t get paid enough for the work I do. I know the products more than 95% of the company, and I wasn’t promoted because I “don’t talk to [them] enough.” People who don’t know even half that I do were promoted because they’re social butterflies, and they would always come to me for help surrounding the product. I switched departments so I can be more involved with the customers instead, and that’s when the pressure of improvement forced me to put on a mask. Now that people see me as this hardworking, “perfect” asset, everything I do is scrutinized. I was threatened to be written up for a very, very tiny mistake that customers won’t see. It’s only because it annoyed the person who reviewed it. And now that I take a step back and observe this situation all over aga...

I started therapy and I started CBT. My therapist doesn't like the fact that all my friends are online and that I lack any physical friends. She misses the point that I already have good friends online and she thinks that physical friends are more needed then online friends. I haven't seen a reason to make physical friends, it feels annoying she is pushy. Am I the asshole in this situation? - misanthropicsuccubus I think she's right. The connections from online friends and online communication is simply not the same. Think about it... You're discrediting the advice you've actively sought out off of your own internal beliefs. This person's JOB is to help people with their mental health. I'm of the belief that living solely in an online world is social cancer. You might feel fine in the short-term, but it really is a shallow and unfulfilling experience in the long-term. How many of your online friends are going to come to help you out when your car is stalled...

 I think it appropriate to explain the scope of our relationship and situation first, before presenting the question. My wife and I are very close. Though we are almost completely opposite of each other on every level, we found in each other a depth of relationship that far exceeds that of any other relationship I've been in or seen in others. When it's just us 2 it seems the world is close to harmony. By now I can surely tell that, aside from our relationship, she would be happiest alone. That's where she finds her contentment when away from being us. I on the other hand, have a stronger want and sometimes need for social interaction both including and excluding her. When we have an argument I have a tendency to withdraw my emotions or become irritated and sometimes angry. This results often in a delayed emotional response that takes a few hours at least to uncover itself or it turns into resentment if I don't deal with it properly. Mostly depending on her response and...