This extroverted mask I’m wearing to integrate into my work environment is just not it anymore

 When it comes to work and academics, I’m usually straightforward, abrupt, and direct. I don’t like to diddle-daddle and make friends “on the job.” I just want to get my work done and not be bothered. And, quite frankly, I don’t get paid enough for the work I do.

I know the products more than 95% of the company, and I wasn’t promoted because I “don’t talk to [them] enough.” People who don’t know even half that I do were promoted because they’re social butterflies, and they would always come to me for help surrounding the product. I switched departments so I can be more involved with the customers instead, and that’s when the pressure of improvement forced me to put on a mask.

Now that people see me as this hardworking, “perfect” asset, everything I do is scrutinized. I was threatened to be written up for a very, very tiny mistake that customers won’t see. It’s only because it annoyed the person who reviewed it.

And now that I take a step back and observe this situation all over again, I remember just how much the procedures and structure of this work environment are pure shit, and management is pure shit. Yet my tiny mistake is being micromanaged?

I wouldn’t even be making tiny mistakes if I didn’t decide to start integrating with employees—putting on this dorky, smiling young adult who’s eager and gung-ho for customers while being best friends with employees, but now I’m just like, “Screw it.” I’ll continue going above and beyond for customers and doing my work to damn near perfection, but I’m not going to be silly anymore. I no longer give a damn about this company or moving up. It’s more stress than what it’s worth.

Working for someone is a lot easier, but I’m getting to the point where I really want to work for myself if I can’t find a job that doesn’t require me to be giggly and goofy even half the time. This mask shit is just not for me. I’d rather stress about my personal life, not both my life and work.

Am I tripping or something? Anyone else with similar experiences and how they dealt with them? - scioMors

It's hard to think about things clearly when we're angry and bitter.

Maybe you're in the wrong field. You're in a customer service job (I think?), but don't want to help customers. You want a promotion, but don't want to do the things that move you closer to it. Quite a pickle.

Exxx's tend to be higher earners than Ixxx's. Is it fair? Maybe, maybe not - but the world was never a meritocracy and it won't change for you or I. What we can control is our attitude and actions more than anything else. If you view everything as shit, it's going to be shit and you stop yourself from making an honest effort.

Even as an introvert myself, I still have to recognize the value of networking and making connections. Do you want to be the 18$/hr self-righteous worker thinking about how you're better than everyone else or the one pushing six figures who's done what is needed to get what you want?

One of our weaknesses is it doesn't feel or come as natural to us to socialize with new people. Address it or switch jobs, complaining is a very transient satisfaction. EVERY personality type has to do things that pushes them out of their comfort zone, that's called growth. The good news is that INTJs are VERY good at it when we want to be, sometimes our ego gets in the way.