Will becoming FWB kill the chance for something more serious in the future?
Hi there! I’m an ENTP (29F) asking about an INTJ (41M). Long story short, we dated for two months, then continued to stay in touch for three months (I got stranded in another country due to sudden travel restrictions). About a month ago (while I was still away) his mom suddenly got diagnosed with cancer, she’s going through treatment now.
I returned back, we had a wonderful week together then broke up. (To sum up: he can’t focus on the relationship right now, but I’m still ‘very valuable’ to him and he hopes that some day after this is over we find ourselves on the same page and give it another go). We’re good friends now.
I love him, and I never felt so attracted to anyone else. I’m not so sure we’ll end up together due to some other lifestyle differences. I don’t want to do anything that might hurt our chances at that though.
Is becoming FWB now a bad idea? He’s sooo attractive, especially ‘the stare’ lol. I’ll most likely move away in three months so it’s temporary. I’m not sure if he even wants FWB.
If we do have casual sex like this, will it make me less of a ‘relationship material’ for him in the future? How important is ‘the chase’ for you? Again, my priority here is not to hurt our chances in the future. - qqqch
In my opinion, yes. Women gatekeep sex, men gatekeep commitment. You're giving up what you barter with for free.
I think you also enter a dangerous train of thinking, are you going to start having sex with any dude who is attractive? I guess it's fine if you just want sex. You can get it easily, now.
The chase isn't important to INTJs, a loyal woman who doesn't sleep around is. You think future potential mates are going to like hearing about your FWB adventures? You are devaluing yourself each time you decide to have fun.
I returned back, we had a wonderful week together then broke up. (To sum up: he can’t focus on the relationship right now, but I’m still ‘very valuable’ to him and he hopes that some day after this is over we find ourselves on the same page and give it another go). We’re good friends now.
I love him, and I never felt so attracted to anyone else. I’m not so sure we’ll end up together due to some other lifestyle differences. I don’t want to do anything that might hurt our chances at that though.
Is becoming FWB now a bad idea? He’s sooo attractive, especially ‘the stare’ lol. I’ll most likely move away in three months so it’s temporary. I’m not sure if he even wants FWB.
If we do have casual sex like this, will it make me less of a ‘relationship material’ for him in the future? How important is ‘the chase’ for you? Again, my priority here is not to hurt our chances in the future. - qqqch
In my opinion, yes. Women gatekeep sex, men gatekeep commitment. You're giving up what you barter with for free.
I think you also enter a dangerous train of thinking, are you going to start having sex with any dude who is attractive? I guess it's fine if you just want sex. You can get it easily, now.
The chase isn't important to INTJs, a loyal woman who doesn't sleep around is. You think future potential mates are going to like hearing about your FWB adventures? You are devaluing yourself each time you decide to have fun.
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