Posts

My Diva Moment

 I like to have a tidy and orderly house and we let it go a little due to ongoing construction. Yesterday, my husband was out of town and I spent the evening cleaning. At the end of the day, I walked around the house looking at my work, acting like a sassy voguing queer than I am, congratulating myself for work well done, approving of how the blankets are folded and pillows arranged. All while striking poses. When I caught myself during the act, I chuckled and decided to pull the footage from our security cameras to send to my husband as an example of how ridiculously I act when alone. I reviewed the footage and in the video I literally do NOTHING of sorts! No poses! No gestures! I just walk back and forth and glance at things. Maybe there’s some expression change on my face but absolutely nothing of my body movement would suggest any sort of emotion not to mention striking poses! My husband is an INFP and struggles with separating his feelings from feelings of others. With me, however

What makes [an] INTJ fall in love with a woman?

  My boyfriend (21 INTJ) has become more affectionate ever since our deep talk last night. He was extremely surprised by my ability to read people, including himself (I'm an ENFJ). He said something like "damn you really know me, I think I made a really good decision dating you" (we've been dating for 2 months). I'm guessing he was really touched by the fact that someone can finally see through/understand him? So I'm wondering what are the moments that make INTJ decide "damn this girl is a catch"?  - hukunamatataa I would describe my fiance as a mature, healthy ENFP, take that for what you will. I saw a lot of traits in her that I wanted and admired, mainly how socially adept and fun-loving she was; people genuinely love her and she genuinely loves people. She has sincere interest in learning about others and wanting to help, on a level that I could never see myself having; but she definitely pulled me out of my comfort zone and helped me grow in tha

INTJ Males - Do you 'LIKE' to be in control over your partner?

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 " Honest, honesty and honesty. Please, when you answer, try to be honest based on your own internal feelings, not what you have been taught by society or what you think you should say because it just 'feels right in front of others. Just to let you know, wanting to be in control, doesn't make you a horrible person, it's how you behave when you are in control is what make you horrible or not. There's always a leader in every relationship, house, whether consciously or subconsciously. ​ I personally, had relationships with INFP, ENFP, ISFJ, and ENFJ. They all wanted to be led. They ASKED for it, they love it, whether sexually or in life, it gives them a sense of security, in fact, it's a turn-off for them if they had to feel like a man in the relationship and those types specifically, they end up breaking up after a year or two if they don't get this particular dominance. With that said, they might stay for other personal reasons, but this will always be a v

Negative psychological effects from "over sharing" or opening up beyond your comfort, often when pressured to do so

It causes a stress reaction and strains relationships with the people they opened up to. Just wondering if this is something particular to our two types or does it only affect certain random people. I've never seen mention of this on other type subs. Do you experience an inner an resistance toward opening up? If yes, how strong is it? - MBMagnet In my teens, yes. Now, no. You can never get rejected if you never put yourself out there; but you'll also never be truly accepted. Once we learn to accept rejection and mentally reframe failure as a means of learning and growth - that is the strongest mental armor and cure to procrastination we can develop.

Dating for INTJs

Dating can be a struggle for INTJs I think. We aren’t particularly social and don’t like chatting very much. We don’t like loud bars and clubs, there’s too much going on. What are some dating strategies that have worked for you? Apps? Meeting people at classes or work? Smoldering in the corner of the bar like James Bond?  -  TheAdmirablePepys The strategy is to become more socially adept. You can only do this by interacting with people, get some extrovert friends who will help you navigate, expand your network, and pull you in to social activities - join events, volunteer groups, etc. Smoldering in the corner only works if you're James Bond or a woman. Unfortunately, you only gain experience by DOING things, thinking about them will only get you so far. Desensitize yourself to rejection, then ask women out, don't wait more than a month, the sooner the better. IMHO OLD is mostly shit and the type of people you will find on there aren't candidates for LT relationships (in gen

"I don't want to share my inner happiness"

Often times they say you need to be in relationship to share the happy experiences with someone etc .... Idk , I've never felt that need, I hardly celebrate what I find to be typical achievements anyway, I certainly don't like being watched and cheered on and stuff. I like to keep my happy places private weirdly. Like that episode on Bojack Horseman when Diane told Mr PB about her dream room , but then when he built it she was mad , because it was better inside her head. I don't want to share the things that make me happy so that another person can attach hopes and expectations of them for me. I like to about things myself. I don't wanna be forced to be excited. Are there those who share these sentiments?  -  taviSTakahashi You feel that way NOW, who's to say it won't change a few months, a few years, 10 years from now? It's been in my experience that most "loners" don't actually enjoy being alone (at least for an extended period of time), they

ENFP curious about ENFP/INTJ match up

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 I (24F) am an ENFP-A and most of my relationships - including friendships - have been with other ENFP types (as far as I know). I keep hearing that ENFP is best suited to INTJ and INFJ, but I can't wrap my head around why. I'm becoming increasingly curious about the ENFP/INTJ or ENFP/INFJ match up, so it would be great if anyone could share their ENFP/INTJ success story. What works about your relationship, why are you drawn to ENFPs, how do you even meet?! I feel like I'm such a social butterfly and I mostly only ever meet other extroverts - I wouldn't even know where to start find my "ideal match", so it's hard to understand the logic behind why they're ideal. - anonymousfiza I met my SO at a coffee shop. I would describe her as a developed (has worked on or acknowledged her weaknesses) and mentally healthy ENFP. Part of why I feel we work is because of our differences, not despite them. I used to think I wanted someone who was the same, with the sa