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Do you find it difficult to make friends as a adult?

  I’ve never struggled to make friends before. Friendship came to me naturally, and they always last. I still have friends from high school and middle school, and we are still good friends and we see each other often. However, now that I’m finishing university, I just realized how hard it is for me to make friends. The friends I made in university don’t last. Which is the first time, and it sucks. I had this friend and I thought we were besties. We agreed with each other on everything. We even went on a girl trip abroad. I thought we had something solid. Then suddenly she’s distant and not reaching out, not making plans and cancels every plan I tried to make with her. That’s been going on for a year and now I’m done. I don’t know what went wrong, I don’t know why she’s suddenly like that, but I’m done trying. Which makes me realize that I won’t ever be able to make friends. I heard friendship is even harder when you’re an adult. Now I’m down to 2 friends from my childhood, so if we...
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Trouble making friends

  Disclaimer: in the following post, I appear to be arrogant. This is not to say that I am not slightly, but hopefully you will appreciate that I have no intention to exaggerate my observations. I'm smarter than normal. I've been labelled as "Gifted" from elementary school. When I was younger, I always didn't see myself as being abnormally intelligent. But now, I'm in university and to me, the gap is much more noticeable. I learn things quicker than others. I'm interested in more complex discussions. Simple questions and comments from my peers in lectures bore and annoy me. Of course, my academic performance is superior and exceptionally high. Throughout my life, I've always had trouble making friends. Yes, I'm slightly introverted, but I doubt that's the issue. I have no trouble striking up a conversation with a peer beside me. I have no trouble asking for their instagram or number. But I've never had a really close friend to spend time wi...
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My Diva Moment

 I like to have a tidy and orderly house and we let it go a little due to ongoing construction. Yesterday, my husband was out of town and I spent the evening cleaning. At the end of the day, I walked around the house looking at my work, acting like a sassy voguing queer than I am, congratulating myself for work well done, approving of how the blankets are folded and pillows arranged. All while striking poses. When I caught myself during the act, I chuckled and decided to pull the footage from our security cameras to send to my husband as an example of how ridiculously I act when alone. I reviewed the footage and in the video I literally do NOTHING of sorts! No poses! No gestures! I just walk back and forth and glance at things. Maybe there’s some expression change on my face but absolutely nothing of my body movement would suggest any sort of emotion not to mention striking poses! My husband is an INFP and struggles with separating his feelings from feelings of others. With me, how...
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What makes [an] INTJ fall in love with a woman?

  My boyfriend (21 INTJ) has become more affectionate ever since our deep talk last night. He was extremely surprised by my ability to read people, including himself (I'm an ENFJ). He said something like "damn you really know me, I think I made a really good decision dating you" (we've been dating for 2 months). I'm guessing he was really touched by the fact that someone can finally see through/understand him? So I'm wondering what are the moments that make INTJ decide "damn this girl is a catch"?  - hukunamatataa I would describe my fiance as a mature, healthy ENFP, take that for what you will. I saw a lot of traits in her that I wanted and admired, mainly how socially adept and fun-loving she was; people genuinely love her and she genuinely loves people. She has sincere interest in learning about others and wanting to help, on a level that I could never see myself having; but she definitely pulled me out of my comfort zone and helped me grow in tha...
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INTJ Males - Do you 'LIKE' to be in control over your partner?

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 " Honest, honesty and honesty. Please, when you answer, try to be honest based on your own internal feelings, not what you have been taught by society or what you think you should say because it just 'feels right in front of others. Just to let you know, wanting to be in control, doesn't make you a horrible person, it's how you behave when you are in control is what make you horrible or not. There's always a leader in every relationship, house, whether consciously or subconsciously. ​ I personally, had relationships with INFP, ENFP, ISFJ, and ENFJ. They all wanted to be led. They ASKED for it, they love it, whether sexually or in life, it gives them a sense of security, in fact, it's a turn-off for them if they had to feel like a man in the relationship and those types specifically, they end up breaking up after a year or two if they don't get this particular dominance. With that said, they might stay for other personal reasons, but this will always be a v...
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Negative psychological effects from "over sharing" or opening up beyond your comfort, often when pressured to do so

It causes a stress reaction and strains relationships with the people they opened up to. Just wondering if this is something particular to our two types or does it only affect certain random people. I've never seen mention of this on other type subs. Do you experience an inner an resistance toward opening up? If yes, how strong is it? - MBMagnet In my teens, yes. Now, no. You can never get rejected if you never put yourself out there; but you'll also never be truly accepted. Once we learn to accept rejection and mentally reframe failure as a means of learning and growth - that is the strongest mental armor and cure to procrastination we can develop.
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Dating for INTJs

Dating can be a struggle for INTJs I think. We aren’t particularly social and don’t like chatting very much. We don’t like loud bars and clubs, there’s too much going on. What are some dating strategies that have worked for you? Apps? Meeting people at classes or work? Smoldering in the corner of the bar like James Bond?  -  TheAdmirablePepys The strategy is to become more socially adept. You can only do this by interacting with people, get some extrovert friends who will help you navigate, expand your network, and pull you in to social activities - join events, volunteer groups, etc. Smoldering in the corner only works if you're James Bond or a woman. Unfortunately, you only gain experience by DOING things, thinking about them will only get you so far. Desensitize yourself to rejection, then ask women out, don't wait more than a month, the sooner the better. IMHO OLD is mostly shit and the type of people you will find on there aren't candidates for LT relationships (in g...
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